Q & A

I am questioning my sexual and/or romantic orientation 

Know that the process of questioning is valid. I know it does not feel helpful, but no one can answer what your sexual or romantic orientation(s) is/are except you. Take your time. A rush does not exist as much as it may feel like it does. Who are you attracted or not attracted to? That is where terminology comes from. That being said, know that a label is not necessary. You love who you love (or not) or attracted to who you are attracted to (or not) and that is all that is important. That and your safety.

Coming Out

Many people make coming out to sound like a big, important, and essential thing. But that is not true for everyone. It can be easy for some people and it can be hard for some people. For those who come out, can be a continuous process. It is also important to understand that it is not something that everybody does.

“It is ok if you are not ready to come out. Your safety is first. It is ok to pick and choose when, where, and to whom you come out. You and your identity/identities are valid. You are not any less gay, lesbian, queer, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, genderqueer, agender, non-binary, gender non-conforming, genderfluid, asexual, demisexual, grey-asexual, aromantic, or whatever your identity/identities if you are not out. Take care of yourself. You are important. You matter. You and your identity/identities are valid.”

Q: I am confident in my sexual and/or romantic orientation but I am anxious about coming out. What do I do about family/friends/etc?

A: If you simply don’t know how they would react, attempt to discuss  queer topics, especially ones related to your specific identity, from the media, issues, etc, and see how they react. This may allow you to gauge the heterosexism you are unsure of the existence of.

If you feel ready and safe, it is good to be prepared for questions; though they may or may not come, you don’t want to be made to feel unsafe by being caught off guard. If questions are asked or comments are made that make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, gauge your comfort in addressing the person.

Q: I know that my family is heterosexist, and I am scared to come out. What do I do?

A: Your happiness is number one, but tied, with this, as number one, is your safety. Please be knowledgable of what resources are available to you. This is a difficult question that cannot truly be advised in either direction. Only you know your family and yourself. Know that I am here for you to reach out to personally for further communication.

Q: I am being discriminated against at school. work, etc.

A: See the resources listed below. Contact me for further questions.

Know Your Rights 

Resources for dealing with schools and other issues.






 Do you have a question that is not listed here, or suggestions for questions to add?

Email me at rcopans.suso@gmail.com